Lost Without Lucy
Oliver and Sophia have never been happier back at our den. They were just glowing, knowing that Lucy are going to be making them grandparents. Sophia is just humming and singing, with all the house work, as she cleans the den. Oliver can’t stop talking about Lucy and James, and how he loves helping them, how he had so much fun with James, while they were hunting. I’m just feeling very down right now, without Lucy, being here in our den, the den seems empty. I’m also missing Luna now more than ever, knowing her and Maverick are starting their own family. I’m beating myself up; by not making a move on Luna, she is such a good bear. I also feeling left out here, with Oliver and Sophia. It seems like everything is Lucy and James. Sophia sees me setting here in the floor, and not my usual very energetic self. She asks me if everything is ok, she knows I’m missing Lucy and rest of the cubs, since they all are starting their own lives together. I said yes, but I feel hopeless right now. Maverick is over with my best friend, that I now know now, that I was falling in love with. Sophia gives me a big bear hug, and says, there is a young sow looking for you right now. Y’all will meet one day and you will be so very happy. Thanks mom I feel better, I’m going for a walk now. I truly wasn’t feeling better, but I didn’t want mommy worrying about me.
When leaving the den, I didn’t want Oliver and Sophia know where I was going. I’m going over to Ceasars den, I believe a little marijuana, is what I need to help me feel better. I’m so depressed I almost didn’t even see a deer, that almost ran me over. It would have been an easy kill, but my depression is real, I have no interest in anything. When you are this depressed, you don’t want to do much of anything. I hate this feeling; I have always been a very happy bear. I hope Ceasar can help me with this feeling, I believe he can.
Off in the distance I hear a very familiar and happy voice; it’s luna and Maverick having a picnic lunch under the tree. I tried to slip away without them seeing me. Then I hear Luna say, “hey Ben come on over here and join us for a picnic.” I wanted to pretend I didn’t hear her call for me, but I said Hey Luna I’ll be right there. I must put on my happy face so, they don’t realize just how depressed I am right now. I go over and set down with them under the dark lush green laurel bush.
The food smells delicious I said Maverick tells me there is plenty and to dig in. Lucy tells me that I’m looking good. All the time I’m thinking that I’m not feeling that well. Luna asked how things are going, I said just great. I then started to tell her about Lucy and her new den, about how we all helped them to clean and tidy up the den. How Oliver had helped James to get some wild game, for the new family and that myself and Lucy had a great time fishing, and just talking about our lives. Then when we all were back at the den, how James and Oliver had brought the deer and turkeys in, and how Sophia had given them hell, and made them to clean up the mess they made. I’m actually feeling better right now, as I’m telling this to Luna and Maverick, but I’m thinking, damn you are so beautiful Luna, and I can’t even tell you this. I then talk about how Lucy had told James she going to cut him off, if he wasn’t more respectful to her family. Luna let a big chuckle when I told her this, and that made me smile seeing her laugh.
We all had a great lunch together and was so fulfilling. We can hear all the birds chirping and singing, there was a squirrel barking off in the distance and a buck grunting. For once today I’m feeling happy, but I know this feeling might not last. I know I was able to pull this one off this time, but can I next time. I tell Maverick and Luna goodbye, as I’m now headed towards Ceasar’s.
As I’m walking, I’m not feeling so depressed but the further I[DT1] walk, I begin to be getting back inside my head, and I’m feeling very depressed again. I continue towards Ceasars, and oh no I hear another voice, it’s Angel; she tells me to come on over. Angel and Samuel were down by a pond that I never even knew existed. Well, I must put back on my happy face as I headed down to the pond. I see something I’ve never seen a bear do before, I once saw a human with a fishing pole fishing. Both Angel and Samuel are setting there holding a fishing pole in their hands, about then her pole bends and she screams I have one, it feels like a big one. I am fascinated watching her reel in this fish. It’s a different fish than what I’m used to, its side is rosy pink its back is a dark olive green, with belly is white as snow. I tell Angel what a beautiful fish, and asked what kind of fish it is. She tells me that it is a rainbow trout, and that it was a male due to it’s elongated jaw. Samuel hands me the ruler to measure it, it’s so big it’s 26 inches I’ve never seen such a fish. Then he hands me the scales and I weigh the fish just under 9 pounds. Samuel says that this pond didn’t originally have trout in it, but farmer Brown had stocked the pond with rainbow trout. He says you got to be careful that he doesn’t catch you here fishing, he will fill your ass full of bird shot, with his 12-gauge automatic shotgun. Bird shot what’s that I asked. Samuel says it a fine small shot that humans use to hunt birds, and sometimes small game with. He said it won’t kill a bear, unless the human is really close to you, because at close range all the pellets are still in the wadding, and hasn’t spread so, it’s like a slug hitting you. He then said it will hurt, I know iv’e been shot twice now with bird shot, with the latest being last week while fishing in this pond, damn farmer Brown shot me at 25 yards away.
About then Samuel’s pole doubles and Samuel said, hey Ben this one is yours. He said that I just need to hold on to the pole, and turn that handle to reel in the fish. Wow look at the acrobatics this fish is doing, jumping out of the water and turning flips. I’m having a blast right now. When I get the fish in on the bank, I said I got a nice rainbow trout with a huge grin, and Angel said yes you do Ben. Its 22 inches and weighs 6 and a half pounds, my largest fish ever. Today is turning out better than I thought. As I’m ready to leave Samuel says, he has another pole back at the den, and tells me to take this pole, I was happy with my new pole.
I’m now close to Ceasar’s, I’m still fairly happy after my rainbow trout fishing expedition. Iv’e been introduced to the human way of fishing, I believe it’s more fun, than the bears way. Us bears have been shortchanged on this fishing method.
Ok I’m at Ceasar’s den now and I tell him how depressed Iv’e been today, how I almost didn’t even see the deer, when it almost ran into me. I tell him about running into Luna and James, I felt better but then got back into my head and depressed again. Then I ran into Samuel and Angel and we had fun fishing so right now I don’t feel depressed. Ceasar tells me that with depression, it’s very normal to have highs and lows, that keeping myself busy, is really the best medication. Oh no he not going to give me any marijuana, since I told him I’m not depressed right now. Then Ceasar says to me, when you are down, I want you to first try some kind of fun activities, before using any of this turkey bag of marijuana that I’m giving you right now. How much do I owe you Ceasar. He said That I was a good bear, so this first bag is free. I assured Ceasar that I wouldn’t misuse any of the marijuana.
On the way back to my den I begin to think about how Samuel and maverick, had started using Ceasar’s marijuana, and it had helped some. But then they had gotten messed up with the evil dealer, the marijuana they started using then, was laced with PCP, and how bad it was for the whole forest. He tells himself that he would never use anything except for Ceasar’s marijuana. He continues his walk back to the den and he then tells himself, he is now the marijuana bear.
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Dale Thacker Aurthor 
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