Tag: humor

  • Spring Time with the Cubs

    Spring Time with the Cubs

    James and myself are hunting to get some meat. We have lot of hog meat now, but we could use some deer, turkey, and possum meat. I hate leaving Bud, but a bear must do what a bear must do. James is telling Lucille and Patches goodbye. We know possums are so easy to kill, and high fat content, so we know of a holler not far away, down close to the stream, that usually has a lot of possums. When getting there they are everywhere, we have hit the jackpot. We killed 26 possums, we are going to need the baskets, to get that many back to our den. I told James, I’ll go get 4 baskets, he said OK. I’ll continue hunting. He was only able to kill 2 more possums. Then a flock of turkeys came by, and he had the best day ever for turkeys, out of 35 turkeys in the flock, he killed 13 of them. James is becoming a master hunter, Oliver taught him well. I’m back with the baskets, the possums had filled the baskets, so we took them back to the den, and then went back to get all the turkeys. Today has been a good day.

    The next Day James told me that him and Lucy, will try to get some deer. I was happy I get to play with Bud, while they are gone hunting. I tell Sophia while she stays with 4 cubs, that I was going to take Bud for a walk down to the stream. She said they need another week, before going on such an outing. She agreed that the 2 of them would introduce all the cubs, to outside of the den. This was so much fun they had never been outside. At first every noise they heard they would freeze. I started teaching them, that they needed to climb a tree, when they see or hear something that scares them. You got it, Bud was the first one to go up the tree, followed by Patches. Before you knew it, they all was up in the tree tops having a blast, eating the fresh green leaves. I then showed them how to get down, 4 of them came on down, but not Bud. He had laid down on a limb, after having a full belly, and was taking a bear nap. Sophia went back in with the other 4 bears, and they all took a nap. It had been a long day with the adventures outside. I decided to nap under the tree, until Bud comes down. I was wakened up by a thump, when Bud landed with a large thump on my back. Before I could stop him, he was headed for the stream. I ran after him, he was quick, though at times was more of a roll, then a run for him. He jumped right in the stream, and was having a blast. I jumped in with him and showed him how to fish. He a little young yet to be able to catch a fish himself. We then headed up to the den. Sophia was mad at me, why are y’all all wet, you went to the stream after I told you not to. I couldn’t get a word in, to say, how he took off. and I had to run to catch him. Bud was over there being all innocent, and it looked like he was even grinning, due to the hell I was catching from Sophia.

    Wasn’t long after that James and Lucy shows up with 4 yearlings does. I tell them, they had really helped to fill the freezer. James then said, y’all nothing, I told Lucy this was her hunt, she killed every one of those deer. Wow Lucy is stepping it up, she is a great hunter. She said, “Well duuhhh look behind you at those antlers, you have never killed such a buck as that.”

    Sophia has now fixed a nice supper for us all, fried trout, fried taters, and onions. The cubs were given a plate first. Bud again was the first to finish but this time Dottie finished right after he did. So, he went to Susie’s bowl and bullied her and finished her fish for her. OK Bud, got his nerve up and goes over to Patches plate, and a huge fight breaks out. This time after the dust settled, Bud was the winner. He walks over and finishes Patches plate of fish. Is Bud going to be the alpha cub? As of right now it looks like it, but there will be more fights to see who is the alpha cub.

    Nights seem like they going to be interesting also. Once you get a couple of the cubs asleep, the others are so rambunctious it wakes them up. It was after 1am, before we get them to sleep tonight. And at 4 am there were 2 of them awake and rough housing with each other. How will we ever get any sleep?

    Next morning during breakfast, when Bud tried to eat Lucille’s food, she whipped his ass but good. He had a high pitch scream as he was being chased away from her food. James said that’s my girl. After breakfast it was determined by Sophia, that my idea of taking the cubs to the stream to play, wasn’t a bad idea after all. We need to keep all the cubs busy all day long, and maybe we can get some sleep tonight. I told Sophia, I would stay at the den, where everyone else takes the cubs to the stream. My plan was to get some much-needed sleep. Sophia says, “Oh no you not staying behind and think you will sleep. You got just as much sleep everyone else did. This is going to be a family outing.” While at the stream the cubs had so much fun. There was a steep bank that came down to a deep pool. They used this steep bank as a sliding board. They are really using up their energy, we may sleep tonight. After the cubs was getting bored, playing in the creek, and deep pool. We decided we would walk down to the road, then make the 6 to 7 miles hike, to where we can cut up to Tom’s old den. While walking the road which is now in good shape, we saw 2 cars, I heard the people inside the 1st car say, I have never seen so many bears, 2 sows 2 boars and 5 little cubs. The 2nd car stopped and got out and was taking a bunch of pictures of us, I felt like a movie star.

    We then cut up to Tom’s old den, it is just like I left it. I told Sophia we could move in here with her cubs, and let James and Lucy have their den back. Sophia said no maybe later, I love having all the family together. I said OK but, in the future, we could move in here. I would feel closer to Tom and Sue.

    We now cut across the mountain to our den. We haven’t been able to go our regular pace with the cubs, it’s been much slower. It will be 2 to 3 hours after dark, before we get back to the den. Due to lack of sleep, I’m ready to just go to bed tonight, and sleep but Sophia said, “we have to put on weight from being in hibernation.”

    We get back to the den and Sophia and Lucy, fix some backstraps and greens with bacon, also some porridge for the cubs. Myself and James took a bear nap. It didn’t seem but 5 minutes, when Sophia yelled supper is ready. All 5 cubs were curled up together, and out cold. Myself and James went in to eat. Sophia said where the cubs, I said sound asleep, she said, “Well they have to eat, so I woke them up.” They ate all their food and were back just a playing. We finished our supper, and we all was ready to turn in. We go into the bedroom but none of us got to sleep until after 2am and was awake again at 5 am That little nap was all the cubs needed for a while.

    Sophia said “OK Ben you win I’m beyond ready to move. 3 cubs are going to be a lot easier to handle than 5 cubs. I’m going to fix breakfast, and you can be getting our stuff ready, to go to Tom’s old den.” I was extremely happy with Sophia changing her mind. The only food I’m taking with us, is half of the hog meat, I’ll hunt closer to our new den for other game to harvest. While getting all packed up, there was a familiar smell the sourdough bread, it smelled wonderful. We haven’t had any since last winter; the kitchen smells wonderful. All the cubs must have thought so also, of how good it smelled, here they come into the kitchen, this was the first time they had come in by their selves. Sophia had made 4 large loafs, and 5 baby loafs of bread, she fixed for the cubs, The cubs all got half their bread with honey, the other half was plain, also a bowl of porridge. Everyone had eaten everything at about the same time, except apparently Patches liked the bread with honey best, he hadn’t eaten any of the plain sour dough bread, so here comes Bud to claim it, and a fight ensued. Patches won the fight, and decided he better eat the rest of his bread.

    Well, we have eaten and packed our belongings, Sophia was going to help clean the kitchen for Lucy. Lucy said no she has all day, go ahead and go to y’all’s new den, you will be busy until dark. Lucy and James had to hold Patches and Lucille; they wanted to follow the other cubs. They had always been together so they wanted to stay together. We are making good time going to the den.

    Once at the den Sophia said she would clean and unpack everything, if I wanted to go hunting, and try to get some game for supper. I go up the mountain planning on getting a deer up in the steep rocks. But a flock of turkeys happened along. I was able to harvest 5 turkeys, one being a 30-pound gobbler with a 14-inch beard. I’m thinking about Lucy, and her huge antlers hanging on the den wall, so I decided this beard would go on my wall. I have never heard of one being killed around here that large.

    I get back to the den and Sophia said Well everything is all clean and unpacked, looks like we are having turkey for supper tonight she said. Wow that’s a huge gobbler you got there. I didn’t know they would grow that big. I cut off the beard and it’s hung on the wall. I said that’s for Lucy when she visits us. I said I was going in and lay down, she said like hell you are. You keeping these monsters awake, until we all lay down about 10pm tonight.

    She said that it was time to eat, we all had our supper and yes, of course Bud is being his normal bully self, and finished off both Susie’s and Dottie’s food, they gave it up with no fighting. We all go into the living room; we make sure all the cubs stayed awake and were rough housing until after 10pm. As we were laying down, I’m thinking OK great, we have figured out the right combination, for a good night’s sleep!

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  • Sue

    Sue

                Both Tom and myself are just thrilled, to have Sue staying with us, I guess the competition to win her over, is on. Not so fast, Tom needs her more than I do. I have my whole family and their mates. Tom has his blood brother, that is all he has in life, I must make sure Sue is his. Without me in Tom’s life, he would dead by now. With Ceasar help we have nursed him back to a joyful life. Yes, I’d love a mate but right now, but I want Tom to have Sue, if she is even interested. I’ll do whatever to get her interested in Tom. We all laid down for a good night’s sleep.

                I was the first to wake up, then Tom did, as Sue is sleeping in this morning. I tell Tom, he needs to fix breakfast for Sue. He said, “what are you planning on doing, while he does all the work. Are you planning on making a move on Sue.” I told Tom, “No I plan to go out and do a little hunting.” Tom said, “oh ok” and he is then thinking, well maybe I can make a move on Sue, while Ben is gone hunting.

                Sue is now awake, and smells the food a cooking, and tells me “It smells so delicious.” Then she says, “where is Ben at;” I said “he out hunting.” She says “WOW” Ben is so strong and brave to go out hunting alone.” Tom isn’t really happy with the way things are going right now, he is thinking well maybe I can win her over, and fix her plate of food for her. I gave her some tenderloin and eggs, also some porridge. After the main course, I tell her, “Here is some delicious berry cobbler.” She complements me she said, “that everything is so delicious, especially the berry cobbler.” I didn’t even make it, Sophia had. I wasn’t going to tell her that though. Sue says “We should have waited on Ben to come back, before they ate.” I’m thinking by now Ben, Ben, Ben, always Ben why not Tom.

                Ben come walking in dragging a 12-point buck. Sue says “WOW what an amazing hunter you are, so strong, so brave, so handsome,” as she brushes up against Ben. I am just helping Tom out; he the gourmet cook, I’m trying to get her interested in Tom. Sue said “yes I had breakfast and it was good, he does make a great berry cobbler.” I wasn’t mad at all, that he took the credit for the cobbler, I’ll do whatever it takes, to get her interested in Tom. Tom says “he has plans for a good lunch.” Sue said “well that’s good Tom:” she then “ask what I’ll be doing” I said “I will be going fishing.” “I love fishing” said Sue “I’ll go with you.” I tell her “Wouldn’t she rather stay to help Tom; with lunch, and learn some of his gourmet recipes.” “I’ll go with you Ben I love to fish.” So, they go off fishing.

                Tom stays back and he is feeling depressed again, Ben is outsmarting me by telling me, to fix breakfast. Then Ben goes off, and don’t even come back with a small yearling, that’s good to eat, no he brings back a big 12-point buck. Then snows her, to the point she goes fishing him. I get out my marijuana and roll a double cigar and smoke it, before I do my job, of being a cook, yeah, I’m just Ben’s slave. Everybody wants a brave hunter and fisherbear not a damn cook. Ben is my blood brother, I don’t know why he is doing this to me. Having smoked a cigar, I am feeling only slightly better I rolled another to smoke. Ok I’m calm now; I can concentrate on being a gourmet chef now. I’ll fix up a fancy dish of trout not just plain old fried trout. That will have to help in winning sue over. My scallop potatoes are 2nd to none, and some greens with bacon in them, she will recognize what a prize she has in me.

                While down at the stream, Tom was fishing in the deep ponds, it was so relaxing watching him fishing. Sue says “you are so strong and brave Ben.” I then tell her that “Tom is stronger than I am, he is a much better cook, also he a master hunter, and fisherbear.” Sue says “well that’s nice but I kind of like you.” I’m lost for words at this point, as much as I want a mate, I want Tom to have a mate, before I get one. I must come up with another plan. We take the fish back to Tom’s. He said “lunch is ready it smells delicious in here” I tell Tom. Sue says “it does smell good.” Tom says, just wait until you taste it, it is better than it smells. Tom fixes Sue’s plate, and the plate looks so good, the way a Gourmet chef would place food on a plate. Sue says it looks good then bites in, and says it ok, but she prefers plain fried fish. She continues the plate looks good the way you prepared it, but I’m a bear, you need to fill my plate up, instead of making it look like a beautiful canvas. Tom says “ok I will keep my cooking simpler, and not cooking like an extreme gourmet chef, and I will always fill your plate.” Sue said “thanks.”

                Tom after lunch decides, well Sue loves the big hunter, so he tells Ben “he was going hunting and for him to fix supper.” I tell Tom “Ok I would fix supper.” I decided I would make the worse possible tasting supper, that I could make, maybe deer brains and tripe. I tell Sue “She should go with Tom to see how a master hunter hunts.” “No, I think I’ll stay here, I may take a little bear nap.” As I’m fixing supper, the room is permeated in a stench. Sue is still napping when Tom shows up, with a small yearling doe, he said “what’s the hell is that stench that he smells.” I hollered to Sue to tell her supper is ready. She says it “smells really good.” I placed small proportions on Sue plate and hand it to her. “That’s the best-looking plate I have ever seen; I can’t wait to dig into it.” I fix Tom a plate and he said “no he doesn’t think he is hungry.” Sue upon eating the food said “that was absolutely delicious.” Tom can’t believe this is happening, as I can’t either. I must do something; I must do something extreme. But what? What can I do! I’m remembering Angel placing herself where Samuel was, and they nose rubbed, maybe I can figure a way to make this happen.

                Tom is very depressed now, and decides to smoke a double cigar. He is feeling a little calmer now, and I tell him to have another one, and then I rolled him 1 more. Tom says he is going to bed. I walk with him to the bedroom; I then helped him into bed. I then get into bed and tell Sue “To come on in and climb in bed with him.” Sue is so excited that Ben is wanting to sleep together tonight. She is thinking he has showed her, no interest at all in her, but she is glad he is now. I make sure the room is dark before she comes in, and I tell “her not to turn on the light, it would wake Tom up.” I hear her come in, and crawls into my bed.  Sue said, WOW you have more muscles than I really realized you have. I was in Toms bed, and I had helped him into my bed. I hear Tom say “Sue I’m so glad you are here in bed with me. This will be a hot steamy night we will never forget.” Sue says “awe you big boy you just wait darling, I will rock your world.” Tom is in total disbelief; he had just woken up, with Sue’s paws all over him, but he was thinking I love this. Tom didn’t know I had set this all up, but I don’t believe it will matter after tonight. After the 3rd time of them having sex, I very quietly got up, I went into the other room, where I’ll spend rest of the night. I could hear the bed squeaking most of the night.

                The next morning when there was enough light to see, Sue saw that Tom was in my bed, but she didn’t let him know, she had come in to be in bed with me. She said “damn you are one hell of a good lover.” Tom said “that you not bad either Sue, looks like that we may be having a family this winter.” They were getting the aroma, of bacon cooking; I had started breakfast, after I heard them stirring around. They come into the kitchen, I said to them, “I think Y’all had a good night.” Both Sue and Tom agreed, that they had an awesome night. Sue told me “Thank you.” I tell the new love birds “to come on over and have breakfast.” After breakfast Sue tells me “Damn son, you can cook, that last meal you cooked, I have had a week old road kill, that tasted better than that damn shit, you fed me. Tom says, “brother I am so sorry, I had thought that I was trying to hone in on Sue, I wasn’t happy about that. I now know you had my back.” I told Tom “He has been alone so long, he never even thought of this being a competition, I was going to do whatever possible to make Sue yours. They both agreed they were blood brothers, and that nothing could ever separate them.

                I tell both Tom and Sue “I was going back over to Lucy and James for the next week to give y’all a honeymoon. I then tell them after last night I don’t think they need any more love making.” Sue with a big grin said, if the den is a rocking don’t come a knocking. I’m really just kidding as far as we are considered, you are part of this family.

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  • Chapter 3 / Our Neighbors

                                                              Our Neighbors

    After our little snooze, we now have a little fuller feeling belly, after we devoured all the fish yesterday. Oliver and Sophia have been talking, prior to Lucy and myself waking up this morning. They want to go over to the closet bear den to us, to see if they are awake yet. Today seems a little warmer, we are walking through the snow, it doesn’t have as hard of a crust as it did yesterday. I’m breaking through the crust on most of my steps. All the trees are bare, in this white oak forest, you can see several hundred yards. The trees have a gentle sway to them, the sky is a pale blue. I’m watching all the wildlife as I walking there are many squirrels, which are hard for us to catch, they are so fast, they run up the trees, before we can get close. We also saw a red fox, along this mile and half trip. There are several deer, a couple very large bodied deer, but no antlers. Oliver says that this time of year, the bucks have lost their antlers, and those two large body deer were probably bucks. We then see a turkey only fifty feet from us. Sophia says y’all stay here, I’m going try to stalk over and harvest this turkey, to give to our neighbors. I remember Oliver and Sophia telling me, That George the dad of the family of bears we are visiting, was killed last bear season. So, Sophia really wants to take Angel the mother bear, Luna her daughter and James her son, a little meal to eat. Sopia sneaks right up on that 25-pound tom turkey, 1 smack of her paw to the head, the tom turkey was dead.

    We are getting close to the other den and Sophia, was so happy to see that Angel, was awake from her hibernation. We all walked over to her and Sophia says I got y’all a fresh meal. She said they been awake for 2 days now, and havn’t been able to get any meals yet. She was so happy to get this turkey. Sophia says that Luna and James left early this Morning, looking for some food, they haven’t returned yet. Angel points at the track they left, Lucy and myself couldn’t wait to go to find them. Oliver and Sophia stayed with Angel. Oliver said he will dress the turkey [gut and remove all the feathers] for Angel. Sophia and Angel are talking and Angel is very sad. She says that she misses George now more than ever. She explained that it was hard for her to go out and hunt, due to being so sad and depressed. Sophia said that her family, will help her out for as long as she needed them.

    Lucy and myself have caught up with James and Luna, they both are feeling very sad. They said they miss their dad [George] so much, they just wanted to get away from the den a little, to clear their minds. We decided to play some bear games. We played rough and tumble. This game is where they draw a large circle on the ground with a stick, and everyone starts inside the circle, where the wrestling match begins. The object is to try to get the others to the outside of the circle. The last one left inside the circle is the winner. We all are the same age and evenly matched. The 2 girls begin wrestling and us 2 boys are wrestling. Lucy is the first to be pushed out, then myself was next. So, James and Luna are now wrestling, James is pushing hard and Luna is almost out of the circle. Luna outsmarts her brother, she falls to the ground and the force, of James pushing so hard, when she fell to the ground, pushes James outside of the circle. Luna had a big smile, having won the game; James was also smiling by having the game, to help take his father off his mind.

    James then said, you know we need some food, that turkey we do appreciate, but for the 3 of them is more like an appetizer. The next holler over from us is named possum holler, due to it always an abundance of possums. I get a big grin on my face, I’m so good at catching possums. It’s like shooting fish from a barrel. Just scare them a little, they roll over and play dead. All of us went to different areas in the holler, we all caught 2 apiece. We take the 8 possums back to Angel, and she gets a big smile on her face.

    I ask Sophie where Oliver was at, she said he had gone out big game hunting, he hoping to come back with a deer. We were all sitting around and dressing the possums, getting them ready to cook. They are almost as good as a cup of porridge. As we are finishing up the dressing of the possums, her comes Oliver and he has a big body deer but no antlers. But you can see the circles, where it was a buck that had dropped his antlers. He says smiling to all us cubs that he also had gotten a doe, its over in the next holler. He told us all to follow his tracks, that we would find the doe. He said it was our job to get the doe back to the den. Last year Oliver didn’t give us responsibility like this. I guess we are growing up a little and have more responsibilities now.

    As we headed down to get the doe, we all was rough housing with each other, and for at least a moment in time, James and Luna are happy and not feeling down, about the loss of their dad. We get down to where the doe is at, it a mid-sized doe and two of us at a time, grab the doe with our mouths and start dragging her back to the den. This is the first time any of us, had drug any type of large game. It was exhausting but was fun also. When we get back to the den Oliver says, ok boys and girls y’all did a great job, getting the doe back to the den. The work isn’t done yet, we will cook and have this doe for super. Sophia, Angel, Lucy, and Luna will cook the meal. Oliver says I’ll watch you Ben and James, dress the deer, to get it ready to be cooked. All us young cubs felt proud, that the adults were letting us have so much responsibility. After the meal Oliver said, I guess it’s time to head back to our den. Angel insisted that we stayed the night, she said they have a large den and plenty of room for all.

    We stayed up late, all the young cubs sat around and played cards and board games. We all was laughing and having the best time. The adults set and talked, Angel said this has been the best day their family has had, since losing George. Angel shed some happy tears, as she was seeing all the cubs sit around the fireplace and laughing and just having the best of time. Sophia was wondering how long this happiness would last once they leave?

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