Dale Thacker Aurthor

Tag: life

  • Depressed

    Depressed

    Once I was at the den, I immediately started to chain smoke cigars, the pain was unbearable. The marijuana was making me slightly calmer, but the pain and depression I was feeling, the marijuana wasn’t helping but very little. I’m at a loss I don’t know what to do. I wished Tom and Sue were close, maybe he could help me, the way I had helped him. But he is 2 counties away, and I couldn’t even think about making such a long trip. That’s when I remembered the laced marijuana, I have never wanted to use that shit. I just remember the havoc that Samuel, and Maverick made, while they were on this same laced marijuana. But will I feel better if I do smoke a cigar or 2? I know it’s different than the purple smoke marijuana. I open the secret hiding spot, I’m afraid what I might do! I had another regular cigar, before deciding to smoke a laced PCP Cigar. My head was all messed up now. But now I didn’t care the way I felt, I would go outside and every deer, rabbit or squirrel possum I see I would kill it. I got pleasure out of killing, and just leaving the dead body lying on the ground. The pain was there but the thrill of the kill, made me have a little enjoyment. I’m thinking after this killing spree about Bud! I need to calm done. I must get control of myself, I’m all that Bud, Lucille and Dottie have now. They will need their big brother; to teach them all they need to know to survive.

    That evening, I smoked a few cigars to try to calm down. I was calmer but mad as hell, and very depressed I must get through this. I must be there for, Bud Lucille and Dottie. They need more than ever. After a sleepless night I go outside and what the fuck do I hear. Damn hounds they are over towards Maverick’s and Luna’s. I should go help. But I can’t even help myself right now I’m so depressed.

    I go back to my secret hiding spot, I grabbed 2 cigars. I smoked one and had one to take with me. Off across the road I go, no care in the world. The dogs are chasing Maverick, I don’t see Luna anywhere. No other dogs I hear, so I think she is safe, but I’m angry as shit, I head towards Maverick and the hounds. I have heard them bay him twice, but he continues running. He has covered 5 miles of mountainous territory now; the dogs have caught him again. He went up the tree this time, he will be killed if I don’t help him. I go to the tree there a huge pack of dogs. It looks like someone new, is hunting in this territory today. I don’t recognize any of these dogs. I walk to the tree with no care in this world. The dogs turn their attention on me. I have 13 dogs right on top of me, trying to pull me apart. Will I survive this vicious attack. I smack 1 dog his lifeless body goes down the hill 40 feet. The attack continues as I kill one dog after another. I’m bleeding all over from the attack but I don’t feel it. There are only 3 dogs left, they turned to run I chased them down and didn’t leave a dog alive. Maverick comes up to me after that, and said thanks. I yell at him you damn coward, learn to fight your own damn fights. I can’t even think about fighting my fight, much less yours. If it not for this marijuana, the hunters would have been here shortly to kill you. Now get your cowedly ass back to your den. I can’t keep saving your fucking ass. Maverick could tell that I wasn’t right, but he had no idea why.

    I see Luna coming, and she also told me thanks, I yelled at her in rage, Maverick is no boar bear, he will end up getting killed, and you also and maybe Susan and Heather. Luna said what the fuck wrong with you Benajmin, I know you are hurting, but why the fuck you so mean to us. It’s like you have been smoking laced marijuana. Well LUNA, you have never lost your damn mom, maybe I am smoking laced marijuana. What the fuck you want to do about it. Luna said, she had heard of all the animals, that I had killed, and it was like Samuel and Maverick on the loose again! I stated y’all both lucky, I don’t kill both of you right now! Luna said if you have ever cared for me, please just go back to your den. Smoke some regular marijuana to try to calm yourself. I want you to know, I have always looked at you as you as a superhero. Today I don’t see this, I see you as a villain. Although I do owe you a thank you for saving Maverick. I told Luna, I was sorry but I’ve been in so much pain. I will go and try to smoke some regular marijuana, but I make you no promises. I’m all over the place, I don’t know what I may do the next second!

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  • The Most Devasting Day

    My Most Devastating Day

    Well, the hunters are all out before daylight, there is a nip in the air, as the trees sway. The hounds are out searching the scent of a bear. I hope all my friends and family will be safe this year. Last year losing Oliver was horrible, I loved my dad. He was so smart, strong, old, and wise. I hope to be just like him one day, he was the leader of the forest, only Ceasar was above him. Now Samuel is our leader, as though he is the oldest now, he doesn’t compare to Oliver, or Ceasar yet.

    The dogs are working the ridge over where Luna and Maverick den is. I hear them open; they are in a hot pursuit. I can hear a pack of dogs, that may have someone bayed and fighting a bear. But which bear, but also, there is another group of dogs, still chasing another bear, which is crossing the road, over to our side of the mountain. I know Luna, has her ribbon on, which may help to save her. If it’s Robs hunting group. But I think it’s the group that wants to kill Maverick, for the loss of their dogs. I don’t think they will honor the blaze orange ribbon. I must figure out who is where. The group that was stopped, I am hearing the dogs in an intense fight with the bear. That group of dogs, I now hear less dogs barking now. But the other group of hounds, are now climbing on the ridge that I am on. I see that it is Luna, that they are chasing. Maverick has done a good job, of getting half the pack, off of Luna. But Luna needs my help now. I headed toward Luna, and the dogs are gaining on her. But can I cut the dogs off. They are a good ways from me yet. I see Luna has stopped she is now fighting the hounds. They keep getting closer to her, she is bayed up against the rocks. She smacks them several times, but they keep coming at her grabbing fur. I hope she stays on the ground and doesn’t go up a tree. I’m now closing in and the dogs, they don’t even know I’m behind them. I killed 2 of the dogs and injured 3 dogs but 5 of them went towards our den.

     I afraid for Sophia, and the cubs. It wasn’t long until I hear the dogs barking again. Who are they barking at. Can I get to them in time, before they catch who they are chasing. I’m going as fast as I can, but the dogs have crossed back over the road. Can I give my help, before the dogs catch who is being chased. As I get closer to the den, I see Bud. Bud said the dogs are chasing Sophia, and said hope she will be ok. Bud said Lucille and Dottie are ok, but they are in the den crying for their mom. I hope Maverick, can hear this chase, and can help out to save Sophia. Close to the road it sounded as though the dogs are stopped for about 5 minutes. But now the chase is on again. I hear Rob and Dale talking back and forth, on the radio. I’m so relieved. It sounds like that it is now only 2 dogs chasing Sophia. She should be able to get away from them. Sophia has more than 2 dogs on her before, and been able to get away from them.

    The dogs appeared that they have stopped again They are high on the mountain I don’t know if I can get there before other hunters do. I hope Sophia can get away from the dogs, before the hunters get there. It is Robs group so all should be good. I’m running as fast as I can, I think that she may have gotten away from the dogs. I don’t hear them anymore. That’s when I heard 3 gunshots oh no Sophia may be dead. I hear Rob tell Dale to get the hell up here, he has shot a bear, but it’s not dead, now that damn bear wants to kill me. I’m headed towards Sophia, and the largest pack of dogs I have ever heard, was bearing down on me now. Other hunters must have packed on my scent where I crossed the road. I had no option but to retreat, and hope that Sophia is ok. The pack of 20 dogs came at me I was able to only kill or injury 4 of the dogs, before I had to take off running again. I wanted to go up a tree but I knew, I would be dead if I did. I ran up to the steep rocks, and I was able to lose them.

    But now what about Sophia. I must get back the 4 miles to where she is at. I am now 2 miles away, I here another shot. I feel certain Sophia is dead now. I continued over closer; I can see Rob and Dale kneeled over a dog and Rob is saying he is still alive but barely, I need you to carry this dog out. My other dog was here, it was injured and I must find her. Both Rob and Dale said, they knew this dog would die. Rob said he had shot 3 times, but that he wasn’t where he needed to be, to get a good shot. I thought this bear had killed both dogs and certain more of his dogs. Rob said he didn’t see this here blaze orange ribbon, with the marijuana bud on it. As he pulled the Bud off and rolled a cigar, we both smoked it prior to Dale carrying the dog, out the mountain and Rob goes find the other one to get that dog out of the mountain.

    Rob and Dale are at the truck, Rob tells Dale, after I shot the bear 3 times, I had no more bullets, in my gun, that’s when I called for you to come to help me, and to bring your gun. When Dale got there seeing the bear (Sophia) chasing Rob around a very large tree. Dale took careful aim as not to hit Rob, and killed Sophia. Rob said he never saw the ribbon, until after he had shot the bear, and he was being chased. But it didn’t matter, that damn bear had killed, and or injured multiple dogs. Rob had other people he was hunting with, come up and gut Sophia, and drag her body out the mountain. I was angry at Rob and Dale. I don’t know what life will be like now, without Sophia. I now have no mom or dad. I’m glad I was able to help save Luna, and also that Maverick had done a good job getting at least half of the dogs off of Luna. I feel lost now. I’m now the only adult for Bud, Lucille and Dottie. The problem is I don’t think I can take care of them right now. I am devastated. How can I get my life back? I must get my life back for Bud.

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  • Reflection and Tranquility

    Reflection and Tranquility

    Upon leaving Lucifer’s I asked Ann, if she wanted me to walk her home. She said she needs some time before she talks, to her parents about what she had done. I told her she was welcome to stay with us, as long as she wanted to. We both feel at peace now, that the deed is done. We are sad for what Lucifer, has taken from both of us. We need time to reflect, and heal from what Lucifer did to us both. Ann and I made it back to the den.

    Sophia was worried about us, but so glad to see us back, she had so many questions. Again, we wasn’t up to questions, we needed a little time to heal mentally. We both had a cigar, and Sophia and Lucy prepared lunch for us. The den had the smell of sourdough bread cooking, and fried country ham, there was a ten-gallon pot of green beans cooking with potatoes. I also can smell some berry cobbler being prepared. Although much sorry in our hearts, we both have a feeling of inner peace. Ann will need time, as she gave herself to the devil. Lucifer had really pulled the wool over her eyes. She believed he was a good person. She had dreams, of helping on the farm raising chicken, cows, and pigs. That what had originally gotten her interested in Lucifer, she wanted to be the farmer’s wife.

    For me I feel so much sorry and hurt for killing, both farmer Brown and his wife. Only time can lessen my pain. I now thinking about that smell I followed, to farmer Brown porch. I realized that day for some reason, it didn’t go up on the porch. But I had so much hate in my heart, due to the loss of Ceasar, I didn’t think everything though. I guess my worst guilt, is that every time I went to Lucifer’s, I smelled that smell. But my mind had farmer Brown, as the killer. I could have prevented all this taking place, if wasn’t for the hate, I felt for farmer Brown. I should of listen to what my nose tried to tell me. I am the cause of all of this, I have so much guilt. We had one more cigar before lunch.

    After lunch we had the cubs, all go back out on their own. We all set around the kitchen table, and talked of how we had killed Lucifer. James tells Ann, that she was brilliant coming up with this plan, and being able to accomplish the goal. Sophia said that Ann, was so strong to be able to overcome her emotions, and keep her emotions in control, to be able to pull this off. Ann said the entire time she was in his house, she wanted to puke, I really thought I was going to, when he kissed me. I had to hold it together though; I wanted him dead. Lucy than said, that Ann was a real hero, taking the devil out of this world, and making the forest safer. We all decided on having a quite evening, and that tomorrow after breakfast, we would stroll to the pond again. We will invite Luna’s and Angel’s families also.

    It was good to get back to the pond with friends and family. We shared all the events that had happened. I felt much more at peace than last time we all converged on the pond. I was glad Lucifer was dead; he was the devil. I will need marijuana, for a few days, but I know I will be able to get weaned off of it soon. The forest already feels more peaceful and tranquil. I know that chase season is close though. We had a great time at the pond, but no world record rainbow trout, but several keepers were caught, and returned to the pond. We just wanted a nice peaceful day. Freezer is full of food so; we didn’t feel the need to end the life of any trout today. They provided us with fun catching them though. We all said our good byes.

    The next morning Lucy, James, Patches, and Lucille is headed back to their den. Sophia, Bud, Susie, Dottie, Ann, and myself leave to go visit Tom, Sue, and Jolene. It’s always good to see Tom, especially when I am not fully myself. We are the best of friends. Bud loves Tom also, due to them having the comradery of having caught the world record trout. We notice as we walking the trees, are hanging full again of acorns this this year. We should be all fat and happy this fall in our den.

    At Toms he was fixing a fire in his smoker, and then he said Well, looks like I’ll have to get more ribs out for everyone. Who is this you have with you. I introduced Ann to him. I said I will tell you about her later. I was thinking that I had come the right day. I love me some of Toms barbecue ribs. Sue was inside getting taters ready, to have fried taters and onions. Sue was surprise seeing Sophia, Susie, Dottie, and Ann come in. Sophia said I hope you don’t mind us stopping by. Sue said she was glad to see them, but who is this. This is Ann she is our friend. Sophia said, that she would help prepare taters and onions; Ann also helped. Susie went in and found the nursery rhyme book, and read the 3 little kittens, aloud to Dottie and Jolene. Bud was outside learning how to barbecue.

    A few hours later supper was served and it was a feast for all. We all set around, I began to tell Sue and Tom about Lucifer and what all transpired at the farm house. It helps both me and Ann to speak of the horrible ordeal. It helps us to heal, and try to get back to our normal selves, if that will ever happen, thanks to Lucifer. I tell of how I set outside and was listening, from under the window, when Ann speaks up, I need to tell the horrible ordeal. It will help me talking about that fucking devil, taking her innocence. She tells how she thought she knew Lucifer; she wanted a life with him. She continues with telling the story etc. and then said, I really didn’t know him at all. I knew what I wanted him to be, and what he, wanted me, to think he was. I have never hurt the way, I hurt after finding the truth of him, killing his own mom and dad. Also, he was responsible for farmer Browns death, and his wife’s, due to he was the one that killed Ceasar. Tom and Sue, was in total disbelief. The last they knew was farmer Brown, had killed Ceasar.

    Tom asked Ann what she would do now. She said, I will have to go tell my mom, dad, and brother of all this; they know nothing yet. I am sure they are worried about me. I havn’t been able to go face them, after this horrible ordeal. Tom said Well you know, we have a catfish pond nearby. They bite best after dark so, let’s go and relax a little down by the pond. Everyone thought that was a great idea. Tom said, he doesn,t have enough poles for everyone, we would have to share. The fishing was very good, we loaded 4 baskets of catfish, before going back to the den.

    The next morning after breakfast we were headed back to our den. Ann said I think I’m ready to go talk to my family. Will y’all please come with me. I said yes, we will be there, for anything you ever need. She said when we get there, for us to stay hidden, until she informs them, that a family of bears, would be entering her home.

    We are at her home; we stay at edge of woods while Ann goes inside. It wasn’t long until she came out to get us. She said, her mom had passed out, when she told her, that I have made friends with bears, and that y’all was outside ready to come in. We go in, and her mom said, I have seen everything now. My daughter can make friends with anyone. Her mom continues saying, she was afraid that Ann may have been dead. A few days ago, I had a visitor Lucifer’s older brother Dominick, he had said, he was coming over to check on Ann. He said, he knew that his dad didn’t approve of Ann, but after finding what appears to be a murder suicide, at their home. He said, he thinks Lucifer, had killed his mom and dad, then took his own life. He said after a toxicology test was done; it was found that that very high Fentanyl levels in all of them. Then Ann’s mom said, that Dominck knew Lucifer and Ann was close, so he came by to tell Ann. I told him I hadn’t seen you, I was afraid you were dead after hearing this from Dominick.

    Ann spoke up well yes, she knew they all was dead, but that was only part of that story is true. Lucifer did kill his mom and dad. He also killed Ceasar, and he was responsible for killing farmer Brown and his wife. Lucifer was the devil. I didn’t really know him. I was in love with him and we had hot sex for over 2 hours. Then I found his dad and then his mom they both was dead. She tells the whole story to her mom and dad. Then continues about how her and Ben had killed him. They were in shock, as she was telling the story. Her mom came over and hugged her, as they both was crying. Her mom said OMG, I can’t believe this happened to you, what a true-life nightmare.  Her dad then speaks up, that no one else needs to know the true story. It is believed to be a murder suicide, and needs to remain this way. Everyone agreed to this. Ann said I will always hate that bastard; he took my innocence; I had saved myself for the one, I would spend my life with. I don’t know if I can ever be with another man, the way I feel now. Ann thanked all of us for coming by. She said I didn’t know and I was scared, of what her mom and dad would say. I know they are here for me so I will stay. But just know I will be coming by from time to time. I tell Ann she is always welcome. Ann also tells us that we were welcome, at her home anytime, we wanted to stop by. Her mom said yes and she promise not to pass out again.

    We made it back to our den and had a little supper, and we were just glad that our life is beginning to get back somewhat normal. I decided to have a cigarette to smoke, I now think that only an occasional cigarette, is all I will be needing. As I look at the calendar, I realized that chase season will be starting this Saturday. What terror will the dogs bring this season?

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  • Lucifer

    Lucifer

                 As I go outside to see who the hell, could be knocking at midnight on my den’s door. I smell a familiar smell, it’s the smell that I smelled yesterday at Ceasar’s, after finding his body. I hear a familiar voice saying, I’m sorry for bothering you so late tonight. It’s the 18-year-old farmers son. I was in no mood to deal with him tonight! I tell him, I have had a long day, and that I would come see him tomorrow. He agreed, as I closed the door. I’m thinking what kind of favor does he need of me, I wished I didn’t owe him this favor. What kind of hell will he bring to my life? Our family has already lived hell today!

                I go back in and sit beside Sophia, as she is telling Red Riding Hood nursery rhyme to the cubs. Bud said who was at the door. I tell him it was the farmers son. He then wants to know what he wanted. I said it was late and I told him I would come over to his house tomorrow, to see what he wants. I’m terrified as to what this favor, he may want of me. I know it couldn’t be good, as he had protected James and myself from his dad. It’s time to pay my favor back!

                Sophia read the story, of Red Riding Hood, everyone was still awake, they said, they were now afraid to sleep, the big bad wolf might come get them tonight. We tell them it’s just a make-believe nursery rhyme. Sophia then turns the page to read Teddy Bears Picnic. Half way though this nursery rhyme the cubs are now sound asleep. Sophia and I reflect on the day. We talk of the good times but also about the darkness, of how Ceasar was killed. She asked how I was doing. I tell her not very well, but the marijuana would help him again, to get through this. Last question she asked was about the 18-year-old farmers son, why did he come over so late at night. I then told her about how he saved James and myself from his dad, after we had killed his hogs. He had told us then, we owe him a favor, and I think he came to collect it. I told him I would come by tomorrow. Sophia was more worried now, that not only had they loss Ceasar today, but what dark favor does the 18-year-old- farmer-son want of Benjiman.

                After a sleepless night, I arose and Sophia has bacon and eggs cooking, along with some sourdough bread. She tells me to wake the cubs, that she has breakfast was almost ready. She had a wonderful breakfast that we all enjoyed. I lose my memory but for only a few minutes, as to what I must do this morning. I tell everyone to behave today, I don’t know when I will return. I must go across the mountain to the farm. Sophia tells me to be careful. I gave nose rubs to all the cubs and Sophia. Bud asked Sophia, if they could go down to the stream, he needs to practice fishing. She said yes.

                After crossing the mountain and going down to the farm, I see the old farmer go in his barn. The 18-year-old is over working on his car. I go over to him and said I’m here. I can smell that smell again, I guess it’s just farmer thing. He said I haven’t introduced myself yet, but my name is Lucifer. I guess you are wondering why, I came by last night. I said yes, I assume you are wanting me to repay your favor. Lucifer said, well no not exactly, I want to help you. I have heard about Ceasar being killed. I know as you know, that farmer Brown killed Ceasar. I would kill that son of a bitch myself, but you see with human laws, I would be put in prison for life, for taking a life. If you were to kill him, it would be an act of nature. Nothing would be done to you. I know nothing would make you happier right now, than for you to see that BASTARD dead. I agreed with him, but I’m confused. You probably know, I was already planning to kill him. Yes, but I also know, you have a heart gold, and it would be hard for you to kill anything, that wasn’t food. I agreed with him, it would be hard, but I think I may be able to.

                Lucifer said I’m going to help you, so that it will be so easy for you to kill him. Here take these two marijuana cigars, you need to smoke them 15 minutes prior to breaking down his damn door. The cigars will give you the mental edge, that you will need, to rip his fucking ass apart. I am now so confused, as I tell him he has smoked a lot of marijuana, and it give him the opposite effect, it calms him down. He said yes, but these are special cigars. Just do as I ask, trust in me, you will kill him with no trouble. I do want him dead, so I agreed. I know when I get close to farmer’s Brown house, I will smoke both cigars, but I would be so calm, I couldn’t kill a possum, laying right at my feet. I decided I would slip by the den, and get a fishing pole, so I can fish afterwards.

                With my pole in hand, I am headed to farmers Brown’s. I am now insight of farmers Browns house; I see him go into the house. I feel very angry right now, I should just go confront now. If I smoke the marijuana, I will be so chilled and unable to kill him. But I decided to follow Lucifer directions, he did say they was magic marijuana cigars. I light the cigar as I take a couple puffs, I blow out purple smoke. This marijuana has a slightly different taste, but I’m enjoying the purple smoke, I am not feeling calm. I am feeling very angry, as I snapped my fishing pole in half, I continued smoking the first cigar. I light the second one thinking how much I hate, that damn farmer Brown. With my head now just in a total spin, I draw in the last couple puffs of the cigar. I take off in a full gallop and break the door down. The Farmer’s wife was in front of me screaming, as I pushed her out of the way. She is just lying there; OMG the blood was everywhere. I guess I didn’t know my own strength. I had killed her but, in my drug, induced rage I didn’t care.

                I heard a loud noise and then I felt a little fly land on me. This was repeated 5 times, I see Farmer Brown in front of me, he is holding his shotgun, with smoke still coming out of it. I guess those flies were his bird shot hitting me. I calmly walk over to him; he raises his shotgun and hits me over the head. His shotgun barrel looks like a boomerang now, the stock is splintered into a thousand pieces laying on the floor. I hardly felt it as he hit me just another fly. With just one swipe of my paw, I ripped his body open, his body hits the wall of the house, the whole house shook like an earthquake. I go over to the lifeless body, and snatch his heart, from his lifeless body and ate it. I then ran up to the pond, and laid down in a mud wallow. The dirty deed is done, farmer Brown is dead.

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  • Ceasar

    Ceasar

                After breakfast we get all our poles and a couple of baskets, and head toward Luna’s, she will be our first stop, as we getting close to the stream Bud takes off running to our right. Oh, he is going to the sliding board and hollers for Susie and Dottie to join him, which they did. Bud hits the pool and comes out with a 10-inch native trout. We gave them 10 minutes to play and fish in the pool, then I said, it is time to go, we have a busy day today. I’m having a thought I haven’t had yet this year. I need a sow, to call my own. Will today be the day?

                While we were heading toward Luna’s den, we run into blackberries and raspberries which we ate some and picked some. Sophia said if we come across berries, we can take some to Luna and to Angel. We filled one basket with the blackberries and raspberries. Dottie wanted to fill the second one, but Sophia said that’s for blueberries and huckleberries. Wasn’t long until we found them, the cubs were chowing down, and then filled the basket.

                We are now at Luna’s and she is outside with 2 sow cubs, she said maverick has gone hunting. We give her the 2 baskets of berries, which she dumped into her baskets.  I said who do we have here. Luna said the one with the white v on chest is Susan, and the other one is Heather. I tell her they are precious as I go over and playing with them, Luna brushes up against me a couple times. I must tell myself; to control myself we are just friends nothing more.

                I then tell her I had named the boar in honor of Oliver. How, I mean Bud sounds nothing like Oliver. I then tell her Bud after a Marijuana bear, she died laughing and was rubbing up against me, as she was laughing. I just wanted to turn and give her a big nose rub and a big bear hug. I couldn’t do that we are friends; she is with Maverick, and they have a precious family together. Maverick just came in with a large doe, he was very glad to see us. After all the introductions to maverick, I decided it was time to leave. I was feeling very uncomfortable with Luna and how she was rubbing up against me, I was afraid I may say or do something, that may harm our friendship. She is the most beautiful bear in the world.

                Ok, now we on our way to Angel’s, yes, we are picking berries for them also 2 baskets full. Angel is at the den with only 1 little sow cub name Elizabeth [Liz], she was black as coal even her snout was black. I asked where Samuel was and she said, oh he is at the pond fishing with Samuel Jr. [Junior/Jr]. Bud said, oh great let’s all of us go to the pond. Angel said she would get the poles for her and Liz.

                Upon getting to the pond, Bud said is this the ocean, I have never seen such a large body of water. Samuel laughs and said no this is farmers Brown’s pond. The 5-acre pond looked huge, compared to the small pools in the stream. Samuel said that farmer Brown had restocked the pond, and there is some large rainbow trout in there. I showed everyone the one, I had caught, it was just over 20 inches. Bud said that’s nice rainbow trout, but he was going to catch one twice that size. We all laughed at his optimism.

                Although 10 minutes later, only Bud had caught any fish, 1 was 18-inch and the other a 21-inch rainbow trout. I tell Bud looks like he is quite the fisherbear.  Liz then says she has one, it was 19 inches then Angel caught one 15 inches. Everyone now except Bud was catching fish. He said that’s ok I’m just waiting for that world record rainbow trout. He knew he would be catching a trout over 40 inches. Samuel was ready to go, so his family all went back to their den, I told them we wanted to visit Ceasar. Angel said, she would have supper ready when we get back, and she would invite Maverick and Luna. Well, looks like I will have to stay my distance from Luna. Doesn’t look like we are going to catch a world record rainbow trout today, as we headed towards Ceasars. We just left our poles hidden in the brush, since we would be coming back by the pond, on the way to Angel’s.

                Headed towards Ceasar’s I just had a funny feeling, that something was wrong. The forest is too quiet. No bugs or birds making their joyful singing noise. No squirrels barking or crows a crowing. I just not sure what up, but I have an uneasy feeling. We continued on our way and not even a squirrel is a stirring. As we arrived at Caesar’s den, I tell everyone to stay outside, that I’ll go inside to make sure everything is OK. I go in and hollered Ceasar, with no answer I continued into the kitchen, I’m noticing stuff had been knocked in the floor. This is not normal for Ceasar, he keeps his den very clean; I have never seen his kitchen in such a mess. About then I hear what sounds like Bud screaming; it sounded like the scream was coming from the bedroom. As I go into the bedroom, I see Ceasar’s lifeless body, is lying on the floor, with a large pool of dark coagulated blood around his head, there was a large 1-inch diameter hole, in the side of his head. I immediately think back to the time Ceasar said farmer Brown, wasn’t all that bad. I know back when he said that, I was thinking farmer Brown was his big supplier for marijuana. Could of farmer Brown killed him. I looked all around, it looks like whoever killed him, took his marijuana, there was only a possum bag left to be found. I must smoke a cigar; how will I tell Sophia. I sat there and smoked the Cigar, before I got up and went outside to tell Sophia. She was so distraught I rolled us both a cigar. She said everyone loved Ceasar, who could have killed Ceasar. I tell her of my suspicions. She said she thought he was a good guy, other than protecting his rainbow trout’s.

                After we had finished off the possum bag, I tell Sophia to take all the cubs with her to the pond and fish with the cubs. He would be doing some investigating, to find out who may have killed Ceasar.

                At the pond the fishing is good everyone is catching 15 to 20-inch trout. Bud is now getting a little upset now, he knew he would have had a world record trout by now. They plan to fish until Ben shows back up.

                While in Ceasar’s den, I could pick up a scent, I will follow this scent, I will have found my killer. The scent is leading him towards the pond, but then cuts down the mountain, before he gets to the pond. It is leading towards farmer Bowns house. I have his house insight now; it’s an old Victorian farm house that has Virginia creeper growing all over the house. It has an evil gothic feeling to it, as I look at it. I get a very uneasy feeling, as I approach the porch. The scent doesn’t appear to go up on the porch, for some reason it seemed to have stopped at the porch. The door then creeps open, It’s the farmer’s Browns wife. Why are you here she said. I’m here because your husband killed Ceasar. She looked shocked when I told her that. She said that’s impossible, he has been right here, for the last 2 days in bed sick. I didn’t believe her, but I was ready to leave. One last thing before I leave, can I buy a deer bag of marijuana from you. She asked big drawer or small drawer, I said big! She brought it to me, and I thanked her. I knew I would be back! A few yards away from the house, I see a nursery rhyme book, it must of came from Ceasar’s den, I picked it up to take with me.

    I headed back to get Sophia and all the cubs. I smoked a large marijuana cigar as I was headed to the pond. I wanted to kill farmer Brown, he has taken our great friend, Ceasar, from us, the whole forest will mourn the loss of Ceasar. I wanted some PCP laced marijuana now. This would help me, to kill that damn evil farmer Brown. I need to chill out, before I get to Sophia and the cubs. I sat down and chained smoked 4 more cigars; I have never had so much hate in my heart. I feel as though I’ve calmed enough to go to the pond. As I’m getting to the pond I had to spring into action, Bud’s pole was bent double, he was holding onto his pole for dear life. He had his pole in his front paws, and hind paws were trying to dig into the ground. I believe he may have his world record rainbow trout, on his line. I get to him, as he was pulled into the water, I dived in to help Bud, once he entered the water, he was forced to let go of his fishing pole. I help Bud, to the bank of the pond, then I go diving for his fishing pole. I found it and I get out of the pond. I handed Bud his pole, as he was winding it in, I believe his world record rainbow trout has gotten off his pole.

                Bud said, I had my world record trout, I loss him this time but next time he will be mine. All this excitement was what I needed I’m calmer now, than I have been since discovering Ceasar’s lifeless body. I had all the cubs fishing, while myself and Sophia talks. I tell her I followed the scent to farmer Browns porch and his wife, had covered for him saying, he hadn’t been out of the house in 2 days due to being sick. I was slightly perplexed that the scent didn’t go up on the porch. I then bought a deer bag of marijuana, which confirmed for me he is the big dealer and the killer. Bear season isn’t in, but he killed Ceasar. I chained smoked the marijuana, because I didn’t want the cubs to see me that upset, due to me being outrageously mad. Seeing Bud, being pulled into the pond has helped for now. But I know that farmer Browns days are numbered. Do I have it in me to kill him?

                We must stop by and let Samuel and Angel know about Ceasar. Angel will be heartbroken of losing her granddad. They both will be devasted. I will let them tell Maverick and Luna. I let it slip to Sophia, I didn’t feel comfortable when we were there, due to her rubbing up against me. I told her it probably wasn’t anything, but since I love her, it was tearing my heart out of my chest, not being with her.  Sophia said she thought that was getting easier on me. Yes, but when I’m with her, she brushes against me, it’s all I can do to keep my paws off of her.

                We are now at Samuel’s and Angel’s and tell them. They are heart broken. Samuel said he had noticed how silent the forest was, but he didn’t know why. I asked Samuel to go outside with me. I tell Samuel everything I know about farmer Brown, and his wife defended him, saying he had been laid up sick. Samuel said I don’t know, but from everything I have ever known about farmer Brown, he was a good guy, as long he didn’t catch you, fishing in his pond. The scent my nose was following went to his porch. It must be him that had killed Ceasar. I tell Samuel I will kill him.

                I hear Maveric, Luna, Susan, and Heather say we are here. With all that has happened today. I had totally forgotten; we were having supper with everyone tonight. Well, they must know about Ceasar, I tell the whole story again and they were so upset, Luna said the forest will not be the same. Luna gave me a big hug I gave her a big hug back. It really feels like we should be together, but I cannot let her know I have feelings, other than as friends.

                Angel had a big supper fixed that was delicious. We needed to get back to our den, so we tell everyone goodbye, and off to our den. When we get to the stream the cubs wanted to play in the pool, so we let them to burn off some energy. We stayed at the pool until midnight and then we went to our den.

                We go in and I handed Sophia the rhyme book I had found. I tell her I think it had come from Ceasar den, but I found it outside of farmer Brown’s house. About then I hear a knock at the entrance of our den! Who the hell could be outside our den, after midnight tonight? I am in no mood tonight for company!

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  • Spring Time with the Cubs

    Spring Time with the Cubs

    James and myself are hunting to get some meat. We have lot of hog meat now, but we could use some deer, turkey, and possum meat. I hate leaving Bud, but a bear must do what a bear must do. James is telling Lucille and Patches goodbye. We know possums are so easy to kill, and high fat content, so we know of a holler not far away, down close to the stream, that usually has a lot of possums. When getting there they are everywhere, we have hit the jackpot. We killed 26 possums, we are going to need the baskets, to get that many back to our den. I told James, I’ll go get 4 baskets, he said OK. I’ll continue hunting. He was only able to kill 2 more possums. Then a flock of turkeys came by, and he had the best day ever for turkeys, out of 35 turkeys in the flock, he killed 13 of them. James is becoming a master hunter, Oliver taught him well. I’m back with the baskets, the possums had filled the baskets, so we took them back to the den, and then went back to get all the turkeys. Today has been a good day.

    The next Day James told me that him and Lucy, will try to get some deer. I was happy I get to play with Bud, while they are gone hunting. I tell Sophia while she stays with 4 cubs, that I was going to take Bud for a walk down to the stream. She said they need another week, before going on such an outing. She agreed that the 2 of them would introduce all the cubs, to outside of the den. This was so much fun they had never been outside. At first every noise they heard they would freeze. I started teaching them, that they needed to climb a tree, when they see or hear something that scares them. You got it, Bud was the first one to go up the tree, followed by Patches. Before you knew it, they all was up in the tree tops having a blast, eating the fresh green leaves. I then showed them how to get down, 4 of them came on down, but not Bud. He had laid down on a limb, after having a full belly, and was taking a bear nap. Sophia went back in with the other 4 bears, and they all took a nap. It had been a long day with the adventures outside. I decided to nap under the tree, until Bud comes down. I was wakened up by a thump, when Bud landed with a large thump on my back. Before I could stop him, he was headed for the stream. I ran after him, he was quick, though at times was more of a roll, then a run for him. He jumped right in the stream, and was having a blast. I jumped in with him and showed him how to fish. He a little young yet to be able to catch a fish himself. We then headed up to the den. Sophia was mad at me, why are y’all all wet, you went to the stream after I told you not to. I couldn’t get a word in, to say, how he took off. and I had to run to catch him. Bud was over there being all innocent, and it looked like he was even grinning, due to the hell I was catching from Sophia.

    Wasn’t long after that James and Lucy shows up with 4 yearlings does. I tell them, they had really helped to fill the freezer. James then said, y’all nothing, I told Lucy this was her hunt, she killed every one of those deer. Wow Lucy is stepping it up, she is a great hunter. She said, “Well duuhhh look behind you at those antlers, you have never killed such a buck as that.”

    Sophia has now fixed a nice supper for us all, fried trout, fried taters, and onions. The cubs were given a plate first. Bud again was the first to finish but this time Dottie finished right after he did. So, he went to Susie’s bowl and bullied her and finished her fish for her. OK Bud, got his nerve up and goes over to Patches plate, and a huge fight breaks out. This time after the dust settled, Bud was the winner. He walks over and finishes Patches plate of fish. Is Bud going to be the alpha cub? As of right now it looks like it, but there will be more fights to see who is the alpha cub.

    Nights seem like they going to be interesting also. Once you get a couple of the cubs asleep, the others are so rambunctious it wakes them up. It was after 1am, before we get them to sleep tonight. And at 4 am there were 2 of them awake and rough housing with each other. How will we ever get any sleep?

    Next morning during breakfast, when Bud tried to eat Lucille’s food, she whipped his ass but good. He had a high pitch scream as he was being chased away from her food. James said that’s my girl. After breakfast it was determined by Sophia, that my idea of taking the cubs to the stream to play, wasn’t a bad idea after all. We need to keep all the cubs busy all day long, and maybe we can get some sleep tonight. I told Sophia, I would stay at the den, where everyone else takes the cubs to the stream. My plan was to get some much-needed sleep. Sophia says, “Oh no you not staying behind and think you will sleep. You got just as much sleep everyone else did. This is going to be a family outing.” While at the stream the cubs had so much fun. There was a steep bank that came down to a deep pool. They used this steep bank as a sliding board. They are really using up their energy, we may sleep tonight. After the cubs was getting bored, playing in the creek, and deep pool. We decided we would walk down to the road, then make the 6 to 7 miles hike, to where we can cut up to Tom’s old den. While walking the road which is now in good shape, we saw 2 cars, I heard the people inside the 1st car say, I have never seen so many bears, 2 sows 2 boars and 5 little cubs. The 2nd car stopped and got out and was taking a bunch of pictures of us, I felt like a movie star.

    We then cut up to Tom’s old den, it is just like I left it. I told Sophia we could move in here with her cubs, and let James and Lucy have their den back. Sophia said no maybe later, I love having all the family together. I said OK but, in the future, we could move in here. I would feel closer to Tom and Sue.

    We now cut across the mountain to our den. We haven’t been able to go our regular pace with the cubs, it’s been much slower. It will be 2 to 3 hours after dark, before we get back to the den. Due to lack of sleep, I’m ready to just go to bed tonight, and sleep but Sophia said, “we have to put on weight from being in hibernation.”

    We get back to the den and Sophia and Lucy, fix some backstraps and greens with bacon, also some porridge for the cubs. Myself and James took a bear nap. It didn’t seem but 5 minutes, when Sophia yelled supper is ready. All 5 cubs were curled up together, and out cold. Myself and James went in to eat. Sophia said where the cubs, I said sound asleep, she said, “Well they have to eat, so I woke them up.” They ate all their food and were back just a playing. We finished our supper, and we all was ready to turn in. We go into the bedroom but none of us got to sleep until after 2am and was awake again at 5 am That little nap was all the cubs needed for a while.

    Sophia said “OK Ben you win I’m beyond ready to move. 3 cubs are going to be a lot easier to handle than 5 cubs. I’m going to fix breakfast, and you can be getting our stuff ready, to go to Tom’s old den.” I was extremely happy with Sophia changing her mind. The only food I’m taking with us, is half of the hog meat, I’ll hunt closer to our new den for other game to harvest. While getting all packed up, there was a familiar smell the sourdough bread, it smelled wonderful. We haven’t had any since last winter; the kitchen smells wonderful. All the cubs must have thought so also, of how good it smelled, here they come into the kitchen, this was the first time they had come in by their selves. Sophia had made 4 large loafs, and 5 baby loafs of bread, she fixed for the cubs, The cubs all got half their bread with honey, the other half was plain, also a bowl of porridge. Everyone had eaten everything at about the same time, except apparently Patches liked the bread with honey best, he hadn’t eaten any of the plain sour dough bread, so here comes Bud to claim it, and a fight ensued. Patches won the fight, and decided he better eat the rest of his bread.

    Well, we have eaten and packed our belongings, Sophia was going to help clean the kitchen for Lucy. Lucy said no she has all day, go ahead and go to y’all’s new den, you will be busy until dark. Lucy and James had to hold Patches and Lucille; they wanted to follow the other cubs. They had always been together so they wanted to stay together. We are making good time going to the den.

    Once at the den Sophia said she would clean and unpack everything, if I wanted to go hunting, and try to get some game for supper. I go up the mountain planning on getting a deer up in the steep rocks. But a flock of turkeys happened along. I was able to harvest 5 turkeys, one being a 30-pound gobbler with a 14-inch beard. I’m thinking about Lucy, and her huge antlers hanging on the den wall, so I decided this beard would go on my wall. I have never heard of one being killed around here that large.

    I get back to the den and Sophia said Well everything is all clean and unpacked, looks like we are having turkey for supper tonight she said. Wow that’s a huge gobbler you got there. I didn’t know they would grow that big. I cut off the beard and it’s hung on the wall. I said that’s for Lucy when she visits us. I said I was going in and lay down, she said like hell you are. You keeping these monsters awake, until we all lay down about 10pm tonight.

    She said that it was time to eat, we all had our supper and yes, of course Bud is being his normal bully self, and finished off both Susie’s and Dottie’s food, they gave it up with no fighting. We all go into the living room; we make sure all the cubs stayed awake and were rough housing until after 10pm. As we were laying down, I’m thinking OK great, we have figured out the right combination, for a good night’s sleep!

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  • Early Fall

    Early Fall

    Well, I have some good days and some not so good days. I’m happy and loving life on my good days. On my bad days, I go out and try to talk to all our neighbors, and family. I prefer to do this, then to go straight to marijuana. There are days when this works perfectly, and I can get myself out of my head. I truly missed out on a golden opportunity with Luna; if I had feeling for her earlier, I wouldn’t be going through this now. Even when I’m very depressed, I don’t let anyone know how depressed I am. I know Sophia and Oliver both realize, I’m not happy at times. They both ask are you Ok. My answer is always yes. When talking to others I don’t let them see how depressed I am. I don’t want anyone else to worry about me. When I walk down to the pond, with my fishing pole, that Samuel gave me, this almost always a cure for me and gets me out of my head.

    Well, I’m feeling very depressed today, so I walked over to see Lucy, she is working on her relationship and new family, she didn’t recognize how emotional and depressed that I am. So, I decide to go over Angels, they are having a blast, as they are remodeling their den, and wanting it to be perfect for their new family. I told them, I was stopping bye to say hi. I didn’t want them to know how depressed I was. Well, I guess I need to go by and say hello to my best friend Luna, and my blood brother James. I hope they will have time for me, I’m desperate right now, I just feeling so down and depressed. I’m actually thinking of harming myself right now! With each den that I have visited my depression is getting worse. As I’m getting ready to knock, that’s when I realized the den, was a just a rocking. I heard sounds that told me, that no doubt James and Luna were making wild passionate love. I was thinking damn you James, that should be me. I was about to approach them, and go in to confront James, when I realized I have 1 more option. I have Samuel’s fishing pole, I need to go to the pond to fish for some rainbow trout. That is so much more fun, than the bear way for catching fish, the human way is so much fun. I know that this will get me out of my head, I desperately need help, to get out of my head, I don’t want to hurt myself. But I do have thoughts of that running through my head. I am so depressed right now, I’m all alone.

    Down by the pond the fishing is great. I have already landed a 22 incher, an 18 incher and a whopping 23-inch rainbow trout. I’m actually beginning to feel happy for the first time today. Then I heard a deep voice, you fucking damn bears; coming here catching all my fish. I should just fucking kill you right now. Oh no its farmer Brown, as I reach for my pole, I feel pain as I have never felt before, following a large boom. That damn son of a bitch farmer Brown, just shot me with bird shot. I’m more pissed off right now, then I have ever been in my whole entire life. I started running towards farmer Brown, when he says make my fucking day, you damn thieving bear, just make one more step towards me, and you are fucking dead. I then realized I was less than 5 yards from him, I knew he was serious and if I took another step, I would be dead. I was close enough the bird shot would hit me like a slug. I started running away but that son of a bitch needed 1 more good laugh at me, as he shot another round of bird shot in my ass at 30 yards. I will kill that son of a bitch when if I get a chance. I head back towards our den and the anger, has now turned to the worst depression of my life. I know I can’t go back to the den, with this much depression and anger and pain. I always carry Ceasar’s marijuana with me, I rolled up a cigarette and smoked it. I am feeling just slightly calmer, but my ass hurt so damn bad, from that fucking farmer Brown’s bird shot. I rolled 2 more cigarettes and I was in less pain, and my depression was improving. I am now the marijuana bear now, it not so bad. It has helped me tremendously with the pain and depression. But I never want to use the laced marijuana. Everyone hated the way it effected Samuel and Maverick. The forest was a very dark and unhappy place during that time.

    I continue back to the den, I am in a good mood now, but my ass still hurt unlike it has ever has before. 2 rounds of bird shot sucks; farmer Brown, he is dead I’ll make sure of this. Wow I guess I better smoke 1 more marijuana cigarette no let’s make it a double cigar, before I go in and see Oliver and Sophia. I’m calmer now but not calm enough. I sit and think happy thoughts as I smoke this cigar. Ok I feel better now and I’m having happy thoughts, of Luna; I know I can’t have her, but I can dream, that I can.

    I’m at the den now and I go in and see Oliver helping Sophia fix supper. They said you been gone for a while. Yeah, iv’e been out visiting everyone, even though I really hadn’t spent any time with any of them, I didn’t let them know that. Then I went fishing with my fishing pole, that Samuel had given me. Down at the pond and caught 3 nice rainbow trout, but then unfortunately, I met farmer Brown. I tell them, that farmer Brown had put 2 rounds of bird shot in my ass and it hurts so bad. I also tell them he threatened my life.  Sophia says you know I’ve heard marijuana helps out, to relieve pain also. We keep a small amount here just for situations like this. Would you like me to roll you a cigarette. I said, I guess so, I have never had any marijuana, I know how bad it was for Samuel and Maverick. Sophia says this isn’t laced, it’s some of Ceasar’s marijuana. I said Well, if you think it will help with the pain, go ahead, and roll me one. I smoked this one and I’m now calm as a cucumber and most of the pain is gone. Sophia says let her know later if I need another cigarette. I said OK. I didn’t want them to know of my depression, and that Ceasar had given me some. Oliver said he was going over to kill Farmer Brown, I said NO, he has a gun, he may kill you. Right now, I want the pleasure of killing that bastard.

    It wasn’t long until I was sound asleep, and I slept till mid-day the next day. I don’t think I have every slept that long in my life. Oh, the sweet dreams I had I dreamed that myself and Luna, will hook up later in my life, we will have a family of our own. I know it’s just a dream but dreams do happen. I have no plans of stirring trouble for Maverick and Luna, I will be as supportive, as I have always been of them. Even though it hurts, I must support them.

    I’m in a great mood after awaking, the pain in my ass is better. I decided to go and see if Lucy and James were home. Upon knocking on the door Lucy comes out very happy to see me. She apologizes she said yesterday was a hectic day. She tells me James has gone hunting, she asked if I would like to go fishing. I said yes very much so. I then tell her he has a new way of fishing, that’s is so much fun. It’s the way that we have seen humans’ fish before, with a long fishing pole. I happen to have 2 poles now, the one Samuel gave me, one and then I went out and got me another one, that you can use it. It’s so much fun. I tell her of the pond loaded with rainbow trout, and how big they can get. She said can we go, I said not today. Let’s just catch some native trout. I then proceed to tell her that yesterday, I was so depressed that had I tried to visit everyone, then I could hear Luna having sex with Maverick. I was so depressed by then, I then went fishing, it is so stress relieving, I caught 3 nice rainbow trout. Then I heard farmer Brown, he was angry, he ended up shooting me twice with bird shot. He also threatened to kill me. I was angrier than I have ever been my whole life. When leaving I smoked several marijuana cigarettes. Once back at the den I told Sophia and Oliver, I had gotten shot 2 times and my ass hurt. She gave me another Marijuana cigarette to help with the pain. I didn’t want them to know I was depressed, and already had some marijuana.

    Lucy said she was so sorry for all this. She felt so bad that she didn’t take time for me yesterday. She was totally shocked that Sophia had given me a marijuana cigarette. I never knew she had any in the house. Then she says that she could go and kill farmer Brown for shooting you brother. No one messes with my family, I,m sure farmer Brown will get what’s coming to him someday soon. He is a mean man, we just want a fish or 2, no reason for violence. Thanks’ sis but don’t go down and confront him, I don’t want you injured or killed.

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